


Seven Year Itch

by frapandfurious, squire



Series: Big Brothers AU [16]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Seven year itch - Freeform, Sex fails, a little bit of angst too, but mostly comedy, except not really, just Ben being Ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-14 08:16:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16909404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frapandfurious/pseuds/frapandfurious, https://archiveofourown.org/users/squire/pseuds/squire
Summary: Seventh year into their marriage, Ben starts to fear he's no longer interesting for Hux and decides it's time to spice up their love life.It goes hilariously wrong, until it gets surprisingly great.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Also known between the two of us headcanoning it as the "Sex fails fic". That pretty much sums it all.
> 
> Written by squire to keep us entertained until Christmas :)
> 
> Timeline note: This happens before the events of New Beginnings (a.k.a Hux is still in the Army; they're still living at Ms. Kanata's, and Rey and Techie aren't married and with kids yet)

If you asked anyone, Ben was decidedly the more romantic one out of the Solo-Hux couple. Leia would vouch for it, Han would bet on it, Rey would roll her eyes at it, and Hux himself would be first to agree with it. And yet, despite his romantic streak, Ben had a hard time keeping track of any anniversary. He remembered the day he met Hux mostly because of the pranks Rey pulled on him every year to commemorate the day of his treason, as she put it. He had three reminders on his phone for Hux's birthday and his wedding anniversary usually sprang on him on the day of, leaving him frantically scramble to put together a decent meal and pray that their favorite pastry shop hasn't closed yet to get the dessert. 

Hux's meticulously kept organizer was definitely a better way to go but when it came to turning plans into action, Hux's results were just as bad as his husband's. May was a hell month ever since his teaching started to pile up like a snowball rolling down the hill, the Academy adding more and more courses to his load as a thinly veiled attempt to justify the delay of his promotion. Or a tactic to undermine his research, Hux could take his pick. He just worked more, determined to prove them wrong on both accounts. He barely ate at home for weeks, there wasn't any time for more than cold leftovers wolfed down straight in front of the fridge, let alone for a candle-lit, multiple course meal. 

So of course when Ben glanced at their wall calendar one afternoon and realized that their anniversary was  _ tomorrow,  _ the surge of panic was hardly a new feeling. What was new, though, was the nagging of a deep discontent. Ben stood, frozen in the middle of their kitchen, and tried to remember when was the last time they had a moment or two just for themselves. He soon dismissed their time together in the middle of the night - between Hux sticking his freezing feet to Ben's calves sometime after midnight and Ben having to reluctantly leave before five am to make it to the morning practice. That didn't count since neither of them was conscious enough to enjoy it. 

It was just this time of year, he tried to tell himself. Hellmonth. How did they ever have enough time to get married, to go through a whole wedding weekend, completely eluded Ben. Maybe they used to have more time. 

Maybe they used to  _ make _ more time, a traitorous thought whispered in his head. 

Well, Ben would have to start with himself. He opened the group chat with the Knights. 

BEN:  _ Guys, anyone free to take over my 7pm zouk class tomorrow? I'm ready to grovel _

A reply popped up almost immediately. 

MIKE:  _ I've got your back, boss. Also, @Joey owes me twenty.  _

BEN:  _ What?  _

JOEY:  _ The fuck I do. I bet you he's not going to remember his anniversary up to and including the day before. That's full 24 hours. It's 5pm and they got married at 3. I win.  _

MIKE:  _ Technicality.  _

BEN:  _ First of all, thanks Mike. Secondly, wtf Joey. Thirdly, how do YOU even remember the exact hour? It's been seven years!  _

RIZ:  _ Cos Mr. Ring Bearer here was still looking for the rings in his hotel room at 2:55. The panic was unforgettable.  _

JOEY:  _ Hey!!  _

 

Ben left the conversation with an amused shake of his head. He never suspected what a hair width-balanced act his wedding had apparently been. Well, looks like he had to keep the set course and make the most out of the shortest time. 

The next day afternoon saw Ben trotting home, a bag of groceries under each arm. Salmon steaks, lemon, almonds, butter, fresh rosemary, potatoes, cornstarch, buttermilk, a bottle of Hux’s favorite white… After a while, when the steaks were set out to rest and the wine to cool, he headed out once more to buy a dessert. He could easily bake something, he inherited enough recipes from Leia to last him a lifetime of kitchen experimenting, but Hux’s favorite were still the things sold at the one pastry shop they used to go out to during their first years of dating. 

When he returned, the spicy sweet smelling cardboard box still warm in his hands, he nearly tripped over his own feet in the hallway. There was Hux, just putting his shoes away, a bottle of Ben’s favorite red under his arm. 

“Babe, you’re home early!” Ben blurted out and immediately gave himself a mental kick. What a way to greet his husband on the first day in  _ ages _ he actually came home around six like a normal person. Ben was counting on much later time - even steeling himself for the not to unlikely event of having to eat everything by himself because Hux would not arrive before midnight. 

“One of my students accidentally vented the CVD chamber,” Hux stretched his back with an audible pop and took the box from Ben’s hand, stealing a kiss as he went. “I am torn between having him to stay overnight for a week until we’re back at the ultra high vacuum and giving him extra ten points at the exam for giving me an evening out of lab.”

Oh. Of course Hux wouldn’t have skipped work if a literal force majeure didn’t make him to. But on the other hand, he could have gone into his office to catch up on his grading or another of his hundred-and-one tasks piled upon his desk - but he went home, to his husband. Ben would take what he could.

“I’ve got to finish making dinner...” he gestured to the kitchen. “Gimme twenty minutes?”

“I’ll just freshen up a little,” Hux smiled at him gratefully, giving him the box back. Ben peeked inside. Sure enough, one of the cinnamon whirls was missing. 

“No sweets before dinner!” he laughed, shaking his finger at Hux disappearing into the bathroom. 

“Hmmmm-mmmm!” was the full-mouthed reply before the door closed and the shower started running. 

Twenty minutes later Hux walked out, combing through his wet hair with his fingers. “God, it’s good to feel like a human being aga- wow.” Ben could feel his gaze slide down and up his body in a slowly heating up path. “You dressed up,” Hux said, somewhat self-consciously. 

Ben, already a bit breathless from rushing around the stove and a little more from the special  _ anniversary surprise _ hidden under his nicer jeans, looked down to check if none of the puree ended up on his brand new dress shirt. Then he looked at Hux - who wore one of Ben’s old, hopelessly stretched sweater, frayed neckline loose around his collarbones and the lower hem barely reaching to his upper thighs… and not much else. Ben’s breath quickened a little more. 

“You’re lovely just like that,” he assured him, trying to dispel the look of guilt on Hux’s face. He probably  _ was _ laying on the festivity a tad too heavy. And if Hux wanted to be comfortable after a long day at work  _ and _ look cute as hell at the same time, Ben wasn’t about to send him to change. 

“Let me at least put some pants on,” Hux laughed, accepting a glass of wine nonetheless. 

“Wouldn’t that be a waste of time?” Ben winked at him, pulling out Hux’s chair. He was determined to make this evening absolutely perfect. 

They ate, refilling each others glasses several times, and soon Ben felt the combined buzz of wine and anticipation like a tingle under his skin, all over. Hux looked so warm and relaxed, stripped of the cold layers he put on for the outside world, hair brighter without the product to keep it in place. Soft smile played around his lips as he supported his head with one hand, leaning on the table, so different from that stiff posture he maintained over the day, eyes half-lidded as he looked at his husband with appreciative spark in his gaze.

They left the dishes for tomorrow. Hux laughed as Ben tugged him eagerly towards the bedroom. 

“This color really suits you,” he traced his fingers around the collar of Ben's shirt, gripping and pulling him closer. The topmost button was already undone and Hux flipped open another one. “Almost a shame to take it off.”

“You wouldn't get to see what's  _ underneath  _ it,” Ben teased, walking Hux backwards to the bed and gently nudging him down. He, for one, couldn't wait to get out of his clothes - the feel of sheer silk and lace borders hugging his hips and upper thighs was driving him crazy the whole evening. 

“Oh,” Hux breathed, shuffling up on the bed and making himself comfortable against the pillows. “Will I get a show?”

“A private little dance, if you like,” Ben promised. Once, he would have been awkward, stiff and red with self-consciousness from putting himself and all his imperfections on display. But with Hux looking at him as if Ben was absolutely perfect… the sway of his hips came naturally, fingers trembling only a little as they made a short work of the buttons, and then he turned around, letting the shirt fall slowly down the lines of his back. Cuffs were trickier but finally he pulled both arms free, finishing the languid spin and glancing teasingly at Hux… 

Who lay in the middle of their bed, still snuggled in Ben's old sweater, lips slightly apart and exhaling softly and regularly. He was dead asleep. 

Ben's heart stung a little with disappointment and melted with protectiveness and fondness. All those preparations - but Ben forgot that this was the first time in  _ weeks  _ when Hux had a moment to slow down, stuff his belly full, be comfortable. It was no wonder his body decided to make up on the lost sleep.

Ben sighed. He was so looking forward to sex tonight, being on edge for hours, missing Hux for days. His own hand in the shower was a poor substitute for his husband's attention. Hux had a way to make Ben’s body sing with just few touches, words, the heat in his eyes. It was more than a mere physical release than Ben craved - it was the feeling of being loved, being admired and  _ wanted _ that Ben hadn’t really experienced with any of his previous partners that made him miss Hux so much. 

_ Maybe he just doesn’t need you like that anymore _ , whispered that part of his brain that was getting harder and harder to silence.  _ He fell asleep at the sight of you undressing. He wouldn’t even come home if there wasn’t a stoppage at work… _

Ben squashed the thought. Hux was simply tired, that was all. He pulled off his jeans and the lace briefs without further ceremony, stuffed it all in a ball into the laundry basket, climbed onto the bed and carefully pulled the covers over both of them.  

 

*

 

It was not surprising but still a little crushing to wake up to cold and empty bed. Sometime during the night Hux apparently got a text from his student that he’d managed to negotiate an access to another lab with UHV infrastructure, and since their experiments were time-sensitive, Hux had to come to oversee the process. Ben understood all that - well, not the scientific jargon but the urgency and importance of being at work - but still he tore up the note left on the fridge door for him, heart sinking further at the sight of cleared table and running dishwasher. Ben knew he should appreciate Hux doing his share of chores even though being the one significantly busier at work - but he would have liked it better if Hux chose to spend those extra minutes in bed with Ben. 

His mood deteriorated even further when the first person he ran into that morning was their chirpy landlady, Ms. Kanata. 

“Morning, dear. How was your anniversary?”

_ Christ, did the whole world know? _ Ben wondered before remembering that Maz Kanata was one of the guests on their wedding - invited twice over, in fact; once by Hux as his landlady and once by Ben as Mr. Bacca’s plus one. 

“Well, Hux was there,” slipped out of Ben before he could bite it back, surprised at his own bitterness. Apparently telling himself over and over that the time spent together was enough wasn’t really working. 

“Ah, he’s a busy one, your man. But you know, Ben, in the end it’s just a date. A sheet in the calendar, just like any other.”

Ben frowned. “You think it’s excessive to celebrate every year?” He knew that sometimes he could lay on the romance too thickly, but Hux always seemed to secretly like it…

Ms. Kanata laughed. “No, silly. I mean, why concentrate on a certain day, and not some other? After all, if you really care about the marriage, there are 365 days a year that qualify as important day, aren’t there?”

Ben laughed in understanding but at the same time the nagging discontent got louder than ever - what if that’s why - getting swamped by work at one’s anniversary happens but Hux had been prioritizing work for weeks now, what if he really doesn’t care about the marriage anymore...

His face must have done something funny because Ms. Kanata peered at him through her thick glasses and tutted. “Of course, seven year itch is always a thing. I should know, been through that several times by now-”

Ben tuned her out. Ms. Kanata could be terribly oversharing when her train of chatter brought her on the subject of Mr. Bacca. Besides, that thing she said - seven year itch? Ben muttered his goodbyes and went back inside to power up his laptop.

The wikipedia page was the first line of Google results for seven year itch. Halfway through reading it Ben wished he hadn’t. 

_ …..The seven-year itch can be analyzed quantitatively. Divorce rates show a trend in couples that, on average, divorce around seven years…. Most married couples experience a gradual decline in the quality of their marriage…. Around the seventh year, tensions rise to a point that couples either divorce or adapt to their partner….. While these median durations can fluctuate from year to year, the averages stay relatively close to the seven year mark….  _

 

Ben stared at the screen with growing trepidation. It was all there. The discontent, the routine, the decline in physical affection… What if… what if Hux was really getting tired of him?

Ben had to  _ do _ something. 

Moving Hux’s schedule was about as likely as shipping the Statue of Liberty back to France. Ben knew what battles to pick. If he couldn’t magically conjure extra two hours to every day, he’d have to make the usual day extra interesting. Do away with the routine. Spice up their love life… yeah. He could start with that. 


	2. Chapter 2

May rolled into June and with the long hours of daylight and warm nights came the annual open air festival in the park. The appearance of the Knights of Ren was a given and much anticipated highlight of it and the boys worked hard in the upcoming days to perfect the choreography. At night, Ben usually crashed into bed, passing out before his head hit the pillows. To say it interfered with his plans to become an irresistible lover was an understatement.

Finally the evening of their performance came and the Knights and other performers, vendors, ticket collectors, and probably hundred other people were running about their business inside the park pavilion. It was a dilapidated former greenhouse that had been turned into a park service building, occasional concert hall, and currently served as an impromptu backstage for the stage set up on the lawn in front of it.

After so many years of shouldering and intimidating his way in, Hux no longer needed those tactics. The promoter already knew him and waved him over as soon as she spotted him in the doorway.

“Hux! Glad to see you could make it!”

“Good to see you, Sam,” he returned her quick perfunctory hug. Sam was an extremely energetic woman reminding Hux of a hummingbird, fluttering from one task to another. Her clicking heels already carried her away when she called out to him: “Your boys are down back and the first door to the left!”

Hux followed the instructions. But instead of finding a smaller, secluded room where the Knights could change and concentrate in relative quiet, he entered the cavernous, two storey high and just as spacious room that once must have housed palms and large succulents. There were round stains on the concrete floor where large clay pots used to stand and the ceiling and two walls were paneled with yellowed, dirt-stained glass. And this inhospitable room currently hosted all the line-up for the night festival - dancers, musicians and performers alike, each group gathered around a decommissioned school desk that someone brought here and stacked into long rows.  

“Hey babe! You made it! Sorry about the mess,” Ben pulled him into a hug. He was already in costume - which meant, in the usual lack of it - and Hux shot a suspicious glance around to gauge how many onlookers have accidentally caught a glimpse of more than they ever deserved to see while Ben had to change here. Judging from the many not-so-covert appreciative and even some flirty looks he caught, it must have been a lot.

“I thought this thing had a decent overheads budget,” he scrunched up his nose.

“Yeah, normally we’d have one of those side offices, or maybe the orchids and cacti room,” Pete said, “but there’s been something about electrical fixtures in that wing that the organizers decided to close off the whole of it.”

“Better than have it all burning down on our heads,” Mike added.

“Still you could have been given some token of privacy,” Hux grumbled, not quite sure if he managed to keep the irritated tone off his voice. Judging by the look Ben gave him, a little searching, quickly turning into considering…. he might have failed.

“I can get us some privacy if you want,” Ben suddenly whispered directly into his ear, grabbed his hand and started tugging him somewhere towards the back.

“Hey, boss, the beginning is in fifteen-” was all Hux heard before the rest was drowned out by the squeak of old hinges cutting off the noise of many conversations - then a couple of careful steps in the dark - another creak, and then a thud and a click - and he looked up to Ben’s face, grinning at him under the light of a low hanging electrical bulb and leaning against the small door he just closed behind them.

Hux looked around - dusty shelves, cannisters, a lonely mop in the corner. They were in a janitor’s closet.

“Very romantic,” he deadpanned. “What are we, fifteen?”

“C’mon, Hux,” Ben only grinned wider. “For luck?” And with that, he slid smoothly to his knees.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Hux choked, freezing in alarm. That door didn’t even have a bolt, anyone could spot the light coming from under it…

“Relax, you’re so tense,” Ben rubbed one palm up and down his thigh even as he worked at unbuttoning and unzipping his fly. Hux was still too stunned to protest and yet he’d lie if he said that the sight of his husband in this position wasn’t doing things to him…

“What else should I be when anyone could walk on us any-fffuck, Ben, slow down!”

Ben gave him another lick before pulling off enough to look up with mischievous light in his eyes.

“And what of it?”

“ _ What  _ what-of-it?” Hux gasped. Ben’s mouth as making it difficult to think straight. He was really going back out there with his lips red and puffy, he was going to perform with the taste of Hux at the back of his tongue-

“Just let them,” Ben whispered suggestively, gleefully. “At least everyone would know who I get on my knees for.”

Hux blinked. That sounded like… a line out of porn. The fog around his head cleared rather abruptly as he looked at Ben, properly.

“Are you doing this on purpose? You actually want us get caught?”

Ben kneeled back, licking his lips. A hint of something confused and guilty creeped into his eyes.

“I thought… you’d like that. The kick out of it, I mean-”

Hux never went from aroused to cold furious faster in his life.

“No,” he snapped, almost - but not really - regretting the flinch of Ben’s whole body, hastily put himself away, stepped around completely lost looking Ben and walked out of there, out of the pavilion, out of the whole fucking park in a huff that lasted him well after he already got home. 

 

*

 

Ben dragged himself into their flat, part of him regretting his decision to skip drinks with the guys in favor of going home to try and save what he could. It was bad enough not seeing Hux in the audience, not being able to hug him after they finished. Now he stood in the hallway of their little flat, dark and silent. His apologetic texts went unanswered and there wasn’t any note.

The firmly shut door to their bedroom spoke volumes. Hux never barricaded himself in when he waited for Ben on long nights; he always wanted to hear when Ben came home, there was always the soft light of shaded bedside lamp that Hux fell asleep with. Not tonight. Tonight was sleeping-on-the-couch night, Ben figured. Well, it wasn’t like he didn’t deserve it.

The couch would kill his back in the morning, and his thoughts spinned through a cycle of anger, regret and helplessness - but at least the performance exhausted him physically so he was asleep before he knew it.

Something woke him - he couldn’t tell how long he slept. It was still dark. It’s taken his groggy mind a moment to realize it was a feeling of someone nudging him over and worming themselves under his makeshift blanket on the narrow sofa cushions. Ben squinted at the small digital display of the DVD player under the TV. It was 2 in the morning.

“Move over you oaf,” mumbled Hux’s sleepy voice behind him, using his sharp elbows and knees none too gently to manhandle him where he wanted. Ben squirmed, there wasn’t enough space.

“We could go to the bedroom,” he suggested.

Hux huffed. “I’m still mad at you.” After a moment of silence, he added: “But I was cold.”

Ben smiled into the back of the sofa. Then he sat up, rolled Hux over before he could protest and wrapped himself along Hux’s back like the bigger spoon, warming his cold hands between his own. Hux’s exhales still came with that irritated little huffing sounds but at least he wasn’t pulling away.

“There was a can of bleach on a shelf with the expiry rate of 1998...” Ben started a very roundabout way to his apology. “I doubt anyone used that closet in years. There wasn’t any real danger of anyone seeing us...”

“But you wanted me to think there was,” Hux pointed out.

“Stupid idea,” Ben muttered. “I thought… you liked it that one time I went down on you in the park, it was after closing time and nobody as there but still a night guard could have caught us-”

“That would’ve been an accident,” Hux said. “I’m not… ashamed of you, or whatever it’s turning the gears in your head right now, don’t think I can’t hear that.”

Ben snorted, not admitting that it was exactly what he was fearing, amongst a hundred other things.

“But I would resent - deeply - if anyone was literally  _ arranged _ to watch what...” he trailed off, clearly reconsidering his words, choosing the right ones. Ben envied him the ability to always find them in the end.

“You think I’m jealous, with you looking like you do, everyone ogling you. But on the stage - you are giving a performance. You let them see what you want them to see.”

Hux held his hand tighter as he continued. “When you’re with me… you show me everything. You don’t hold anything back. And that makes me feel so… I guess the word is powerful, and also not, it’s like a gift, you see?”

Ben kissed his shoulder, throat too tight for words.

“And I hate the idea you’d be putting on a show for someone else while we’re together… and I don’t want anyone to see what’s only for me - call me stupidly jealous but that’s how it is. I don’t want to share that.”

Then he hesitated, and when he began again, it was in a much smaller voice Ben ever heard him.

“Unless it’s something you want? Because I don’t know if I could go through with it-”

“No,” Ben blurted out, tightening his arms around him. Finally the right words came to him, with fierceness that surprised him. “I’m yours. Only yours. You’re right, I don’t want anyone see how pretty you are when you’re flushed, and your hair is down, and-”

“Right, when I’m a complete mess,” Hux swatted him half-heartedly but he was laughing. Ben kissed his shoulder again and then started nipping up his neck. To his dismay, Hux pulled away and turned in his arms, stopping him from further overtures with a firm look.

“First tell me how the performance went… I’m sorry I flipped out so much I missed it.”

Ben’s dismay morphed into beaming happiness. He started talking, embellishing everything in a typically Solo manner, but halfway through the story he suddenly felt a terrible yawn tug at his jaw - and then he looked down to find Hux’s eyes drooping, head growing heavy in the crook of Ben’s elbow.

“Good night, love,” he whispered instead, kissed the tip of Hux’s nose and snuggled him close, quickly falling asleep. 

 

*

 

Sunday mornings were Ben’s favorite part of the week. No classes at the centre, no morning practice unless absolute emergency. Even on the weekends Hux was on duty, there still was time to eat breakfast together. Hux usually prepared it before Ben came back from his morning jog. Ben loved coming home to the smell of freshly brewed coffee.

It was what has woken him today, together with the rattling of the bread box and the high-pitched buzz of the blender. Ben rubbed at his eyes, stretched his couch-sore back and smiled. Out of the two of them, people would usually peg down Hux as the ‘toast-and-smoothie’ type, while expecting Ben to be wolfing down a champion’s breakfast of eggs, bacon and pancakes. In reality, Ben was the one to develop a taste for smoothies over the years, and Hux usually preferred a croissant or a donut over any healthier alternatives.

He still felt a little guilty and more than a little awkward when he shuffled into the kitchen, accepting a cup and a kiss. Well, Hux wouldn’t be making him breakfast if he was still mad at him, would he?

Hux sat down to the table, spreading extra jam on his piece of pastry. Ben poured himself a big glass of the greenish stuff in the blender and sat opposite him. There was something considering, almost calculating in Hux’s eyes that followed him steadily and Ben didn’t know what to make of it. It could mean trouble. It could also mean something very good.  

“So…. I found something very interesting in the laundry the other day,” Hux said pleasantly just as Ben was taking a sip.

Celery smoothie definitely wasn’t meant to be ingested through the nose. Ben spluttered and coughed. He completely forgot about the undies!

“Uhhh… you weren’t meant to find them like that!”

Hux’s eyes twinkled the way they did when he was suppressing laughter. “I figured as much. They’re quite the step up from your usual style of black boxers with more holes than elastic.”

“Did you like them?”

Hux hummed. “Those were what I missed the day I was too tired to keep my eyes open? I think I’d like to see them in the proper setting.”

Ben recovered quickly. “Sounds like a date. Tonight?”

To his delight, Hux nodded. “I wrapped up the advanced course yesterday. I think I deserve a treat,” he drawled.

Ben all but jumped up with enthusiasm, getting ready for the day. He had to go back to the park to pick up their stuff from the pavilion and afterwards he promised Rey to drive some of their things into storage while she and Techie moved house.

The faint calculating glint never left Hux’s eyes as they followed him running about the flat. Ben felt his heart beating faster just from that. The night couldn’t come fast enough. 


	3. Chapter 3

Shoveling all of Rey and Techie’s boxes, bags and folders into the storage took longer than Ben expected. Ben suspected that Rey inherited one of Han’s quirks - never get rid of something that’s broken for the improbable case you’d make something new out of it. And Techie, with his wire-and-scraps-of-metal craft, turned out to be a terrible enabler.

When he finally got home, the front door was unlocked, which meant that Hux was already back from duty, but the living room was dark. Ben quickly slipped into the shower to wash away the sweat and smell of dust, and the brushed his teeth to get rid of the taste of greasy chicken nuggets he grabbed in a drive-through on his way home. He almost didn’t notice the small black bundle of fabric lying innocuously on the laundry basket next to the tub. Carefully, he lifted it, shaking it out and feeling his face heating despite being alone in the room when he realized it was his own piece of underwear in all its scandalous glory, washed and smooth as new.

Hux must have left them there. He wanted Ben to put them on.

The air felt cool on his skin as he walked to their bedroom. The shiver that ran through him as he stepped in had nothing to do with cold, though.

“Wow… now I feel like the one underdressed,” he observed, uncertain words stumbling one over another. The bedside light must have been shining brighter or Ben’s pupils were already too wide with the rush. Either way it’s taken him an embarrassingly long moment - spent on admiring the golden shine of Hux’s hair, the crisp and severe line of his white shirt, those flawless sharp pleats on dress trousers going on for miles as Hux stood at the foot of the bed, upright and proper, with just a hint of smirk playing around his lips - to notice the other dark bundle of something in Hux’s hands.

“What’s that?”

“I thought we could try something new,” Hux said and Ben almost missed the little stutter in the beginning, Hux’s tone smoothing out back into calmness and self-control at the last words. “Why don’t you make yourself comfortable on the bed? Hands above your head, love.”

The gentleness of the endearment did nothing to take away from the undercurrent of command in Hux’s voice. Ben’s feet obeyed on their own accord. He arranged himself on the bed, preening under the obvious hunger in Hux’s eyes, and made a show of flexing his arms as he crossed his wrists above his head, fingers latching onto the headboard. Hux quickly moved to straddle him and brought up that dark, shimmery thing: tight coil of black silk rope.

They used makeshift restraints before, ties, twisted shirt sleeves, whatever was the closest in the heat of the moment. Ben sometimes liked the little hint of helplessness and Hux always seemed to know when he needed it. This felt both familiar and new, there was thought behind that rope, and planning. He shivered.

Hux kissed his half-open palm as he wound the rope around Ben’s wrists and through the headboard, loop after loop laid in precise circles and knots. He tugged at each one, testing the give. Ben rolled his shoulders. The bounds were tight but not uncomfortable.

“I knew black would look good on you,” Hux leaned back to admire his handiwork, his ass resting tantalizingly just shy of touch above Ben’s thighs. “So pretty like this.”

“You look amazing too,” Ben lifted his head and wished he had the power to pop Hux’s shirt buttons out of their holes just with his mind. “But you’re still wearing too many clothes.”

Hux tutted at him. “Looks like I’ll have to do away with your reasons to complain,” and with that he pulled something out of his pocket and pulled it over Ben’s head and across his eyes before Ben could as much as blink.

He did blink, then, his eyelashes snagging on the soft inside of the blindfold. The fabric was thick and black, no light came through. This was definitely new.

A soft kiss, like before with the rope, a silent  _ you okay?  _ Ben bit his bottom lip, considering. The sensation of lips on his own was strangely disembodied without the visual of the rest of Hux but also more intense, just the chaste touch leaving his lips tingling for more.

A second of nothing - another, stretching into a small eternity and just as Ben felt his chest shrinking with the first hint of panic the touch came back. And another, and another - light, teasing, fleeting, without any rhyme or reason, he could never tell where will the touch come next, lighting tiny electric sparks under his skin. Soft pressure of lips, scrape of nails, thrilling hint of teeth traveling along his body that had him squirming, straining to get closer to the sensation, overwhelmed by the smallest puff of air against his overheated skin and still craving more.

But as wonderful as this was, being laid out like a feast, every other sense on fire, he still missed something. He missed seeing Hux's eyes, the want and hunger and trust and love in them that he now realized was always there. He missed watching Hux watching him, feeling his gaze like a path of heat traveling over his body and at the same time, keeping him anchored, grounded in the sensations.

Now he was feeling as if his skin was too tight, intensely aware of being watched and seen but without the assurance of seeing Hux's reactions it felt… wrong. His nerves suddenly went from oversensitive to flayed, he felt too exposed, too broad too long too many moles, too ugly to be looked at, too much too much too much-

“Ben, do you want to stop?”

A split-second too long pause before Ben shook his head and that’s all it took for Hux’s heart to plummet through the floor.

He rose and leaned over to reach the light switch. The panicked whimper Ben let out at the loss of contact felt like a stab of pain.

“I’m here. I’m just dimming down the light. I’m going to take off the blindfold. Close your eyes.”

The corners of Ben’s eyes were damp when the blindfold came off, eyelashes stuck together in wet spikes.

“I’m sorry,” Ben smiled, brave attempt at making light of it and failing miserably. “It's just… the blindfold was too much I guess.”

Hux started to free Ben's hands from the rope, focusing on the methodical pulling and untangling to keep his own emotions from disintegrating. Beneath him, Ben nuzzled his face against the fabric of his shirt, seeking contact like a big cat. As soon as his arms were free he wrapped them around Hux, holding tight.

“Babe, you're shaking…”

Hux wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Here Ben was, barely recovered from a panic attack, already concerned about him. Comforting  _ him. _

“Ben… you weren’t even going to tell me you didn’t like it… why?”

And there it was, the defeated slackening of Ben's hold.

“I liked the rope.”

“Ben.” Hux tilted Ben's defensively turned away face back to him. “I mean, why didn't you tell me.”

Ben rubbed at his eyes and then tugged at the cuff of Hux's shirt in a clear message,  _ take it off at last.  _ Hux huffed but obeyed, making a quick work of his clothes. Ben mumbled something just as Hux was burrowing into the bed next to him, the rustle of the bedding drowning out the words.

“What was that?”

Ben sighed and buried his face in the crook of Hux's neck.

“Ben, you've got to tell me. Because if you thought I wouldn't have stopped immediately-”

“No!” Ben glared at him, affronted. “I trust you. I just… didn’t want to spoil it for you when it was something you wanted.”

Hux traced Ben's furrowed brows and kissed the unhappy downturn of his lips till it softened. 

“Love, the whole point of this is that you’re enjoying yourself, if you don’t then I can’t either.”

“You’re doing this for me? I didn’t… it wasn't supposed to be like that.” Ben looked lost and Hux felt even shittier than before. He sat up and started rewinding the rope into the tightest possible coil, anything to get rid of the jittery feeling in his hands. Despite his effort to remain calm he could feel himself going red in the face. He could feel Ben's eyes on him, waiting, confused, but he kept his eyes fixed on his own knees when he finally admitted:

“I thought you wanted to try something new. I know I can be a man of habit… and I see how I could have become a bit boring over the years-”

Ben was on him in a flash, pulling him down and kissing the rest off his mouth.

“You’re not boring. Never. It was me. I was trying to experiment so you wouldn’t be bored with me.”

Hux has never heard anything more ridiculous. “Why would I be?”

It was Ben’s turn to study his own toes curling under the sheets, apparently. Finally he mumbled: “You know I haven’t been much… around…” he waved an uncertain hand, “before you…”

Hux bit back a laugh - Ben could take that in a wrong way - but still couldn't keep the incredulous, almost accusatory tone from his voice: “You thought I’d start to miss being with someone more experienced?”

Ben actually had the decency to cringe at that.

“I'm an idiot aren't I.”

Hux kissed him again. “Ben, how many of my lovers have I married?”

Ben looked up, that awkward blush slowly replaced by an irresistible grin. “Just me.”

Hux mirrored the smile. “Just you.” Then he sneaked his hand down until his fingers encountered the lace border of Ben's pants. He traced it for a moment before hooking a finger under it and pulling sharply, snapping the elastic against Ben's hip and laughing at the yelp it elicited.

“Now, as lovely as these are, what about I took them off and showed you how much I love giving you old plain boring head?”

Ben groaned. “You're gonna tease me for this forever, aren't you.”

“Until death do us part,” Hux vowed, smirking. 

Ben folded his arms behind his head and relaxed, spreading his legs. “Fine. I'll take that. But for the record, I really liked the rope.”

  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

 

Ben's phone lit up with an incoming call when he was in the middle of filling in the 1040-ES form and he got up to read it, glad for the distraction. The studio quarterly taxes were usually Pete's chore, as all the other Knights unanimously voted him as the best genetically predisposed to actually understand that shit, with his lawyer brother and all. But Pete was away on his honeymoon and the forms were due this Friday. 

_ “Love, you're not going to like me.” _

Ben smiled to himself. Hux getting stuck at work was nothing new, to the extent that Ben usually took that into account when making plans for the evening.

“Unless you’ve dyed your hair blonde I’m pretty sure I’ll still like you.”

He could hear Hux’s snort and added quickly: “Scratch that, I’d like you even blonde. But I draw the line at pink.”

He could hear Hux trying not to laugh and wondered where he was. At his office? Or in the common room? He wouldn’t call Ben is there was anyone to overhear...

_“Fine, I’ll dye my hair pink and then perhaps the news of my assignment will pale in comparison.”_

The smile fell from Ben’s face. Damn, he’d even take the pink. On the other end, Hux spoke quickly, as if afraid of interruption.

_ “I’m being assigned to oversee the implementation of a new protocol on some European bases. Four weeks. I’m going to miss the housewarming party.” _

There was nothing Hux could do against direct orders, Ben knew. He knew that when he married a soldier.

“It’s fine baby. The kids won’t mind. As Rey would say, the more booze for her.”

He could practically hear Hux’s eye roll over the several miles separating them.

_“Those “kids”_ _are getting married next month.”_

As if Ben didn’t know. His heart fluttered every time when something reminded him of his baby sister getting married. Well, those flutters tended to disappear when it was said sister reminding him, usually demanding help with wedding planning.

“But you’re gonna make it to the wedding, right?”

_ "Of course. But I’m going to miss most of the lead up.” _

Ben actually envied him that a bit. Rey was a practical and down-to-earth bride-to-be, it was Techie who would occasionally lose his head.

_ “And I’m going to miss you _ .”

Ben actually gaped at that. This was  _ his _ line. Getting sentimental over the phone was  _ his _ forte. But over the past week, Hux was getting more affectionate than usual, perhaps trying to make up for the blindfold mishap… Damn, Ben was going to miss him so much.

“But we can Skype sometimes, right?”

_ “Not this time,” _ Hux sounded resentful.  _ “So much of this is classified that they’re taking no chances.” _

“Damn.”

_ “At least they’ll keep me busy. It’s easier not to miss you when I’m basically dead on my feet.” _

Ben finally recovered. “I wish that worked for me,” he said mournfully. It was true, even between evening and morning practice, hungry and tired, Ben was usually up to anything - cuddles, sex, sleeping as Hux’s personal blanket, anything. His husband’s proximity had that effect on him, especially lately when their time together was severely limited.

Hux sucked in an unhappy breath. _“You know, I don’t have to report for transfer until Monday. And I have leave due so I thought to take the weekend off. What about we make some memories to get us through another four weeks?”_

“I love you,” Ben breathed. Over the phone, he could hear a door opening somewhere near Hux, and a jumble of voices. Hux’s tone immediately became more measured, edges crispier, words smoothed out into precise parade rest. 

_ “I know,” _ he replied calmly.  _ “Until later.” _

Ben pocketed his phone and groaned when his gaze accidentally landed on the half-finished tax form. Well, it couldn't be helped. Hux wouldn't be home for another couple hours. Ben couldn't keep the grin off his face even as he ran over the rows of numbers, double checking everything. A line from the earlier conversation kept distracting him:  _ make some memories to get us through another four weeks…  _

Yes, there was an idea. Ben clicked on the Submission button, impatiently tapped his fingers against the desk as he waited for confirmation email, and wondered if the shop down two blocks where he bought the iPad for Rey's twenty first birthday was still there.

 

*

 

“Of all the ideas you could’ve gotten...”

Hux stood in the middle of their bedroom, alternatively pinching the bridge of his nose and glaring at the mood killer currently sitting on a chair pushed to the foot of their bed: Ben’s camera phone, the one he used to record the KOR training sessions to analyze the choreography, mounted on a little tripod, recording at the ready. 

Ben sighed, swung his legs back over the edge of the bed and bend down to retrieve his underwear. 

“I mean, at least this time you  _ asked _ before you’ve sprung it on me-”  

“Fine, I get it!” Ben snapped, collected the equipment and started dissembling the tripod. The original carton box was still under the bed, he might get a refund. 

“It’s just - Ben, you’ve had such weird ideas lately-”

“As if yours were any better!” Ben blurted out and immediately bit his tongue - but it was too late. Hux was already halfway out of the bedroom. A second later the kitchen door banged shut behind him and that was that. 

Ben swore under his breath and tossed his useless phone onto the bed. It bounced off the mattress and landed on the hardwood floor. Ben squeezed his eyes shut, counted to ten and back and then picked it up. No cracks on the screen. Small mercies. 

He almost dropped it again when a black mug full of steaming tea was shoved in front of his face. Hux was holding his orange one to his lips and his eyes were downcast, apologetic. 

“To calm down?” Ben accepted the mug. It was his favorite, strong bergamot spiced tea. 

“Yeah. I needed it.” 

It was rare for Hux to admit he was the one worked up, considering that his usual tactic in fights was to hold onto his calm as if that in itself was making a point. 

“I think I might too,” Ben agreed and sat down on the edge of the bed, tugging Hux down next to him with a hand around his waist. 

Hux took a large gulp. It must have burned his throat because he grimaced. “I shouldn’t have said ‘weird’, I’m sorry. At least your ideas didn’t hurt me...”

“Hey, hey.” Ben put down both their mugs and pulled Hux into his arms, flopping backwards onto the bed and holding onto him. Hux’s weight was a welcome warmth against his bare chest, ginger hair tickling the hollow of his throat.

“You didn’t hurt me. I was safe with you. You wouldn’t, you couldn’t, and you didn’t.” 

Above him, Hux snorted even as Ben started giggling. 

“That was an impressive grammatical construct.” Hux folded his hands under his chin and looked up at Ben through his lashes. “So, do we talk about this?”

Ben pulled a face. “It was just something that occurred to me when you said ‘make some memories to get us through’. Babe, we’re not going to even hear each other for nearly a month. I thought it perhaps wouldn’t be bad to have… something… more than just memories and imagination.”

Hux still looked confused by the idea. “Ben, you never even asked me for a dick pic, and now you want a whole damn sex tape-”

“Ugh, love, you know I’m not actually fifteen, right? Besides, as lovely as your dick is, I prefer the whole man that comes with it. Baby, if you could just see yourself how beautiful you are-”

“Flatterer, but still no.”

The flat rejection still stung. Hux, as if wanting to soothe the hurt, mouthed slow kisses along the line of his sternum. Ben carded his fingers through the short strands of hair on the back of Hux’s head. 

“If you’ve got… performance anxiety, or anything...” he started tentatively. It earned him a sharp graze of teeth along his collarbone and a withering look. 

“I’m an officer, Ben,” he explained at last. “I can’t allow such a thing even exist. It’d be a disaster for the Academy, for my research and for myself if it leaked.”

Ben’s hurt doubled with affront. “I wouldn’t leak it! I wouldn’t be putting it online for fuck’s sake!”

Hux shook his head resolutely. “Your phone saves data on a cloud. And once it’s out there, it’s just a matter of time before some hackers have it. I can’t risk it, I’m sorry.”

“Oh.” Ben relaxed, tipping his head back to give Hux better access to his neck when he resumed his nibbling. “So you don’t  _ not _ want to. You just can’t.”

“Well…” Hux grumbled. “I guess. I’d still prefer skype sex over watching a recording, though.”

“But we won’t have the Skype this time,” Ben pointed out. 

“Yeah, and we don’t have a camera with a memory card. No win.” 

“Well,” Ben drawled, “I see a gorgeous man in my bed and two days of free time ahead, I’d call that a win.”

“I’m glad we finally agreed on something,” Hux smiled.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Ben switched the suitcase handle into his other hand and tapped at the check-in portal screen impatiently, willing the boarding pass print faster. Only two more hours and they’ll be finally…

“Hey boss, your luggage’s buzzing.”

Distracted, Ben gave an uncomprehending look to Mike, and then another to his suitcase which indeed emitted low pitched buzz. He’d put his phone in the front pocket -  _ oh! _

“Hey, ‘Tidge!”

Behind him, Joey groaned. Mike stepped deftly around him, picked up the printed boarding pass from the floor and not so subtly elbowed Ben away from the portal. Ben didn’t care. He just pressed the phone tighter against his ear, starving for every bit of his husband’s voice.

_ “Hey Ben. Good news - I’m back in the States, hallelujah. Bad news - I’m stuck in Chicago for another day, my flight home-” _

“What, you’re in Chicago?”

_ “Yes, apparently it’s cheaper, taxpayers money-” _

“Tidge. Wait.  _ I _ ’m in Chicago. Right now.”

Anyone who knew Hux would never guess he could  _ squeak _ over a phone. Or maybe it was just an echo of Ben’s own excitement. It didn’t matter. Hux was somewhere within a mile radius of this labyrinth and Ben was going to…

“Boss, we should head over to the security, the queue is starting to get really thick.”

Ben dropped his phone against his chest and shook his head. “Guys, I gotta stay here. I’ll catch a flight tomorrow.”

He was met with five stares, ranging from incredulous to comprehending.

“But the ticket’s non-refundable...”

“He’s having a date with Hux, Riz. Drop it. Nature calls.”

“Oh yeah, boss, get some! Those blue balls of yours were starting to be visible from space-”

“Oh my God Joey shut up, I swear I’m swapping seats so I’m not sitting next to you-”

Ben shot a pleading look at Pete who sighed in resignation and started to herd the bunch of them to the security. “Make sure you don’t miss the rehearsal dinner,” he called over his shoulder. Ben nodded gratefully, grabbed his suitcase and put the phone back to his ear.

“Love, you still there?”

_ “Indeed. And I heard all of that.”  _ The mischief in Hux’s tone was impossible to miss even over the noise and racket of the airport around Ben.

“Ugh. Don’t mind them. Where are you?” Ben searched the overhead signs to reorient himself. Hux was bound to be in Arrivals, or would he already be in Transfer? “Are you staying at the airport hotel?”

_ “The hotel’s full worth of guests and then some had the idea before me.” _

Ben winced. O’Hara International had infamously bad reputation for layovers.

_ “But I just booked a nice double room in a hotel not so far from here. Can you pick me up? I’m still at the baggage reclaim.” _

“Are you wearing the uniform?” Ben asked, long strides eating up the long corridors between the terminals.

On the other end of the line, Hux laughed.  _ “No.” _

Ben grinned, mind flitting back to Hux’s return from Iraq. “So can I lift you? Spin you? Kiss you senseless?”

Hux was still laughing, and even over the static on the line and noise distortion it was the best sound Ben heard in the entire four weeks.  _ “I don’t know Ben, ‘can’ you?” _

“Oh I can,” Ben tried to growl but was grinning too much to pull it off. “Hold on. I’m almost there.”

 

*

 

“Fine, fine, you can put me down no-  _ ooof,  _ Ben, I said put me down, you-” another protest died on Hux's lips, dissolved into a pleased sigh as Ben kissed him again. Ben couldn't stop kissing him.

Those four weeks were  _ endless.  _ But now, miraculously, he had his husband back in his arms and he wasn't planning on letting go.

“Speaking of miracles…”

Oh shit, he just said everything of that aloud, didn't he?

“How on earth are you in Chicago, Ben?”

Ben finally put him down, fastened Hux's travel bag to his own suitcase, entwined his fingers with Hux's and let himself be navigated through the headache-inducing shops out and towards the taxi stands, all the while talking.

“...and then she said, I got all this scholarship travel money and Yellowstone is so overdone, what about I paid for your tickets to Chicago, and so we ended up in a huge ass industrial loft shooting her graduation project. As models. Black and white, wrapped in packaging film, all very artsy…”

“All very nude, am I right?” Hux chuckled.

“Yeah,” Ben scratched his nose. “Remember that tiny loincloth I had on that soiree with Resistance and Flow? So she  _ started  _ with that. But it was really fine, I mean, she was professional. Though I believe Mike left her his number. Just in case she was interested.”

Hux waved down a taxi and gave him the address while Ben folded himself in the back seat. He was twice as happy for this coincidence now - the KOR made a steady income but every extra dime was welcome, and if some undergraduate photography student felt like throwing some their way, he didn't mind her salivating over the negatives.

“And how was Europe?” Ben asked as the taxi took off.

“Hmmm, I'd love to tell you…”

“But then you'd have to kill me? Not fair. Not when I finally feel alive again.”

Ben leaned over all the way the seat belt allowed him, ignoring the eye roll of the taxi driver through the rear mirror, and buried his nose under Hux's ear, inhaling deeply.

“I might have to pinch myself. This is too good, I could be asleep and  _ ooow! _ ” he jolted away, Hux's fingertips still clamped around his earlobe.

“Fine, I'm not dreaming,” Ben conceded.

“I thought I was dreaming when you said you were in Chicago,” Hux said in a low voice, still so close to Ben's ear that his breath tickled the pinched spot, sending shivers down Ben's neck. “I spent hours imagining what I would do with you once I was back. All the things I wanted to try.”

Ben’s eyes fell closed, head tilting and lips falling apart in the anticipation of another kiss-

“Hey lovebirds, no smoochin’ in my car!”

Ben spent the rest of the car ride stealing a quick kiss whenever the driver’s attention was on the road. 

 

*

 

“That's… You booked us…”

“A honeymoon suite, yes.”

Ben looked around once more, taking in the sumptuous bed, the size of the adjoining bathroom, the bottle of sparkling champagne in an ice bucket on the table… “Wow.”

“What else should I do with the nice per diems money I was getting,” Hux shrugged. “And I intend to enjoy all the assets this room has to offer,” he added slyly.

“Oh, am I one of them?” Ben turned and spread his arms, biting his lips at the way Hux's eyes immediately zeroed on the strain of Ben's shirt over his chest.

“Not one money can buy,” Hux stepped close, splaying his fingers against those wide pectorals. He couldn’t even span the entire width of them. Under the thin fabric, Ben’s heart was beating fast.

“Imagine that people will pay to look at this in a gallery,” Ben chuckled a little self-consciously, letting himself be backed towards the bed. One button after another popped free with little flicks of Hux’s thumbs.

“They can watch all they want,” Hux purred. “I’m the one who gets to touch.” And with a last squeeze to emphasise his point he pushed and toppled Ben backwards onto the bed.

Two of Ben’s already doomed buttons didn’t survive the fall, pinging off the floor somewhere, but Ben didn’t look after them… Ben wasn’t even looking at Hux who was crawling over him on all fours. His gaze was fixed upwards and when Hux’s head finally came up to level with Ben’s face, all the teasing died in his throat because Ben’s face looked… scared. Absolutely mortified.

“Ben?”

Hux twisted on the bed and flicked his gaze upwards, to meet Ben’s deer-in-the-headlights eyes in the huge mirror mounted to the ceiling.

“I’m sorry ‘Tidge…” Ben threw his forearm across his eyes. The embarrassed red was quickly spreading down his cheeks and up his ears. “I can’t. I just… nope. I can’t.”

_ “What?” _

Hux turned back to Ben. Even with their clothes on, straddling Ben as he was, he could feel that Ben’s… interest in the proceedings had noped out of the situation, too.

“Oh my God, you booked this room specifically for that mirror, didn’t you?” Ben whined, words half-muffled with the fabric of his sleeve. “I’m so sorry ‘Tidge. I’m sorry for spoiling this for you-”

“Stop that and get over here,” Hux ordered him, sitting up and pulling Ben up with him. Ben sat with his head ducked and shoulders hunched around his ears, as if the mirror could shatter over his head if he even accidentally glimpsed on it. Hux hugged him, the angle awkward, but the way Ben slumped against him he didn’t mind.

“I thought, considering the sex tape idea you had before I left, that you’d like this. Watching us together...” Hux started to explain before either of them could get angry.

“I like watching you!” Ben asserted. Hux briefly remembered all those little moments of self-consciousness whenever Ben was being photographed, his obvious discomfort over the nude photoshoot, how he tended to fast-forward over the KOR training recordings whenever it was just him in the frame…

“Ben, do you realize it would have been  _ both  _ of us on that tape?” Hux couldn’t help but ask, more than a little exasperated.

“...... I didn’t think it through.”

So Ben didn’t like watching himself. A part of Hux, that part which was still hard just from touching all that beautiful body, honestly couldn’t grasp why. But another part, the part which remembered scowling at his own scrawny limbs and soft chest in the mirror during adolescence, understood rather well.

“Can we… relocate?” Ben suggested timidly after a moment, nodding towards the loveseat in the centre of the room. Hux considered the springy cushions, his own back still suffering with the cricks and aches of the long overseas flight, and then he got an idea.

“You like watching me, right?” And with that, he slid up on the bed and made himself comfortable on his back in the middle of it, head resting on the sinfully soft pillows.  He met Ben’s curious gaze with a purposeful one, with that hint of command that never failed to elicit the desired response from him. “Then keep your eyes on me. All the time. Think you can manage that?”

It turned out that Ben could manage that, very well. 


	6. Chapter 6

Summer always meant a lull in the demand for dancing lessons at the KOR studio but this year the guys came up with the idea of an suburban summer camp. A group of kids was coming to the studio every day from nine to five, learning various forms of dance, working on a final group performance and generally having fun both indoors and outdoors in the park. Ben loved working with the kids but still came home every day exhausted to his bones.

From Hux’s point of view, the week after his return from Europe passed in a blur. There was Techie’s bachelor and Rey’s bachelorette parties which had to happen at different days because the Knights absolutely had to attend both. There was the wedding itself and then of course the catching up with all the stuff at the Academy. At least the academic break meant no teaching, grading and office hours - but taking a couple days off during the week still felt like an overindulgence he didn’t really deserve.

Well, he might not, but the flat definitely needed it. During the weeks of Hux’s absence and with the preparations of the summer camp, Ben obviously cut himself some slack with cleaning. It wasn’t as if the flat had turned into a pig sty - no, it was just the overlooked cobwebs in the ceiling nooks and hallway floor swept only around the furniture, not under it too… and so Hux took advantage of Ben being away at the studio and cleaned to his heart’s content.

He was just taking out all the empty plastic bottles and containers to be sorted accordingly when he found a large envelope on the hallway floor, pushed through the mail flap. There was Ben’s name on the address line and the slightly blurred stamp on it said Chicago.

Hux debated with himself exactly two seconds before he brought the envelope to their bedroom and tore it open.

Dozens of high quality black and white prints spilled out, along with a handwritten letter. 

 

_ As promised, sending the previews. Thanks again for your time, dedication and patience in putting up with me. Hopefully my professor will be just as happy with this as I was happy to work with you.  _

 

When Hux lifted the letter, a little scrap of paper fell out of the folds. On the front side was, in Mike’s characteristic scribble, his name along with his phone number. On the reversed side was a short message:  _ Thanks cutie but not interested. Any chance you have a sister? _

Hux spared a pitying thought for poor Mike and then turned his attention to the photographs.

Oh, he instantly knew that her professor was going to be happy with her work. These photos not only brought up what was really compelling about the Knights - their energy, youth, strength, and expression through motion. The photographer also had a real knack for capturing each Knight’s distinct personality, limited as she was with the stillness of her medium and confines of the color palette. There was Joey, eyes sparkling with challenge as if another merciless joke was about to fall from his parted lips, there was Riz caught staring off the frame at an angle that corresponded with Manu’s line of sight on another picture…

...and then there were pictures of Ben, beautiful and magnificent, and at the same time… Hux’s heart clenched. To an outside observer, those photos were a triumph of vitality, power, and the appeal of unconventional beauty. But to Hux…. he could tell, just by staring at Ben’s eyes on those photos, exactly how many days Ben was missing him. How starved of careless happiness, how tired of mustering up a smiling face, how deeply uncomfortable with putting himself on display for a stranger he was. The photos, perhaps unwittingly, captured the dark mood simmering just at the corners of Ben’s mouth, in the guarded tightness around his eyes.

He took out his phone and pulled up his own snapshots of Ben, just to make sure he wasn’t imagining things. No, there was definitely a difference - not only in the quality, resolution and lighting, obviously, but also in the way Ben smiled just for Hux, that open, crooked, unselfconscious laugh, the way his eyes would scrunch up and whole face just glow with joy.

Hux stared at the two sets of photos and felt like the luckiest man in the world. And suddenly, he knew he had to make Ben feel like that, too. This wasn’t about spicing up their love life anymore. This was about loving the man he fell in love with every day, in whichever mood he woke up with, through whatever their life threw at them, not allowing to let pass a single day as a boring, expendable or unimportant one.

He shoved the prints back in the envelope and put the whole thing in his bag. Now he had an important call to make. He grabbed his phone and steeled himself. Calling his old friend Phas always made him question his decisions sooner or later.

“Hey Phas. Are you in town? Could I come over?”

_ “Wow, Armitage. This gotta be a world record in cutting straight to the point. Nice to hear to you, how are you, yadda yadda. You can come over any time but I gotta warn you that my friend from last night still hasn’t found her pants. So maybe give us an hour unless you want to see things you’d rather wish to unsee.” _

Hux checked his wristwatch. Nine o’clock was way past the time Phas usually kicked her conquests out.

“I take it this one is serious, then?” he asked dryly.

_ “Rude.” _ There was a pause, muffled voice, and then a distant bang of a door. Then Phasma’s voice came back. _ “And also untrue. Coast cleared. I just can’t get them to stay...” _

Hux knew what she meant - not just stay for breakfast, but stay in her life. Investigative journalism tended to be a relationship killer.

“Jess didn’t call back…?”

_ “Nope,” _ Phasma chirped, and the carelessness in her voice became forced.  _ “I came back from Doha, she was gone, all her stuff too. Couldn’t stand waiting for me to get quartered somewhere, apparently.” _

“I’m sorry, Phas.” Hux once again thought how incredibly lucky he got with Ben. Ben, who waited for him patiently every time, through every assignment, through Iraq, and only asked for one thing in return: for Hux to always come back to him.

_ “You can bring your sorry ass over here with some waffles. Also I’m bored. I wrapped up my last case two day ago and nothing’s on the horizon. Hey, what was it you needed? Are you about to finally spill some dark military secrets?” _

“No, Phas,” Hux said as he slipped into his shoes. “But I think you won’t be bored.”

 

*

 

“Wow, these are pretty nice.”

Hux couldn’t help preening a little while Phasma leafed through the prints. Of course they were nice, there was Ben on them… Phasma caught his expression with a corner of her eye and snorted.

“The models too, obviously, but I meant the shots. Angles, lighting, action… she’s good. I was thinking of hiring someone as a second shooter for my next trip. Do you think she’d be interested?”

Hux recalled the little cheeky message on the paper slip with Mike’s phone number and smirked to himself. “I believe she would.”

“Now, did you have something else in mind besides making me envious of some other girl’s camera skills?”

Hux nodded and started explaining his idea. Half-way through, Phasma started grinning.

“This is going to be good. Did you bring any props?”

Hux produced several items from his bag. Phasma laughed, picking up one of them and admiring the pattern.

“These are going to be a little big on you… but knowing Ben, he’ll love it precisely for that reason. Now, here comes the line I never thought I’d say to a guy: get naked.”

Hux expected to feel more than a little awkward while carrying out his plan but Phasma, for once, kept a tight leash on her sarcasm and even contributed several suggestions that turned out amazing. She also promised him to shred the negatives and he knew he could trust her.

Two days later Hux received a text notification from Phasma that she had finished editing and he could drop by to pick up the prints any time he liked. 

 

*

 

The next day, Ben spotted the neat pile of photographs stacked on their dining table as soon as he got home from his early morning jog, and immediately scowled. Hux busied himself with packing his lunch box for work and carefully hid his smile.

“Ugh, I was wondering when will they come. Riz and Manu kept asking about them. I’ll bring them to the studio, Pete will want something for his wife too...” Ben moved to slide the stack back into the envelope.

“You should have a look,” Hux said quickly. “They’re beautiful.”

A corner of Ben’s mouth lifted. “Yeah,  _ you _ would say that.”

“When have I ever lied to you?” Hux wound his arms around Ben from behind and kissed the side of his face. “I’ve got to go. Meet me at the gate tonight, after six? We could go out somewhere.”

“I should just about make it,” Ben mentally ran through his day. “The parents are picking up the kids at five, five ten. I’ll shower at the studio and then I’m all yours.”

“Deal. Promise me you’ll have a look at the photos,” Hux said. “Maybe pick one for me?” he winked.

Ben was still eyeing the stack unhappily and chewing his bottom lip when Hux closed the door after himself. As he walked down the stairs, Hux briefly considered the not so impossible scenario of all the Knights getting to see what they never signed up for seeing… well, there was nothing to be done about it now. He had to trust his husband not to blow this in the lack of a contingency plan.

He needn’t have worried.

The first barrage of texts came before he even got on the bus.

 

_ Holy shit, Tidge! _

_ I love you. _

_ I’m gonna be late I can’t stop staring at them. _

_ How am I supposed to wait until tonight to show you how much I love them? _

_ Fuck I just found the one with the rope. _

_ The pants! You were wearing my pants! Never mind late, I’m dead.  _

 

Hux pocketed his phone. He was going to scare a good number of his subordinates today with the way he just couldn’t stop smiling, and he didn’t care. 

**Author's Note:**

> Looks us up on Tumblr 
> 
>  
> 
> [frapandfurious](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/obsessions-and-dreams/)  
> [squire](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sinningsquire/)
> 
>  
> 
> or on [Twitter :)](https://twitter.com/B_squire_C)


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